Will and power of attorney: what each one is for

Four kinds of papers come up again and again when families talk about the future: a will, a power of attorney, an advance directive and funeral wishes. They sound alike, but they do quite different jobs. Here is what each one is for, in plain words, and what to think about before you see a lawyer.

The will

What it does: says who gets what after you die, and often who should deal with your estate.

Without a will, the law of your country decides who inherits. That may be what you want, or it may not. It can matter a great deal if you are not married, have children from earlier relationships, want to leave something to a friend or a cause, or own property in more than one country.

Things to think about before you see a lawyer:

• Who should inherit, and in what shares.
• Who should handle the estate (often called an executor).
• Specific things: the house, the holiday home, jewellery, a piece of furniture someone has always loved.
• Who should look after children who are still young, if that applies.
• Where the signed original will be kept, and who knows about it.

Review your will when life changes: marriage, divorce, a new grandchild, a death in the family, a move abroad, or buying or selling property.

The power of attorney

What it does: lets someone you choose act for you while you are alive.

An ordinary power of attorney can let someone handle a single task, such as your bank account while you are abroad. But it usually stops working if you lose the ability to make decisions yourself, for example through dementia or a serious stroke. That is exactly when it is needed most.

That is why many countries have a special kind, called a lasting, enduring or durable power of attorney, or a similar name. You make it while you are well, and it keeps working, or only begins, if you can no longer decide for yourself. It can cover money and property, and in some countries health and care decisions too.

Without one, your family may have to apply to a court or authority to be allowed to help you, which can take months. Many people find this the most useful paper of all, and the one most often left too late. It can only be made while you are still able to understand it.

• Who you trust to act for you, and whether there should be more than one.
• What they may and may not do: pay bills, sell the house, make gifts.
• When it should start.
• Whether it must be registered with an authority to be valid. In some countries it must.

Banks often have their own form for letting a partner or child access an account. That is useful day to day, but it is not the same thing.

The advance directive or living will

What it does: records your wishes about medical treatment if you cannot say them yourself.

It may say, for example, that you do not want to be kept alive by machines if there is no hope of recovery, or which treatments you would refuse. Some countries have an official form or a national register; in others it is a signed statement that doctors take into account. How binding it is depends on the country.

Even where it is not strictly binding, it helps your family enormously. They will not have to guess what you would have wanted at the hardest possible moment. Talk to them about it, not only to the paper.

Funeral wishes

What it does: tells your family how you would like to be remembered.

Burial or cremation, a religious or non-religious ceremony, music, flowers or a donation, who should be told, where the ashes should go. Funeral wishes are usually not a legal document, and that is fine. Their job is to take the guessing away from the people left behind.

Some people also pay into a funeral plan. If you have one, make sure the family knows which company it is with.

Where to start

• Talk it through at home first: who you would trust, what you would want.
• Write down your questions and your assets before you meet a lawyer. It saves time and money.
• Make the will and the lasting power of attorney with professional help, so they are valid where you live.
• Write down your treatment and funeral wishes, and tell your closest family.
• Keep the originals somewhere safe, and write down where they are.
• Look at it all again every few years, or when life changes.

The paper is only half of it

A will in a drawer nobody knows about helps no one. The same goes for a power of attorney in a bank box when nobody knows which bank. The other half is telling the right people that the papers exist and where they are.

Handover is not a legal document, and it does not replace a will or a power of attorney. It is a place to write down where your papers are kept, which lawyer helped you, and what you wish, in your own words. Your partner and children can then find it when it matters.

In Handover: Important papers has The will and Where the papers are kept. Wishes and decisions holds If I can't decide myself, Treatment wishes and The funeral.

If you are dealing with this after a death in the family, our checklist for when a parent dies may help.